Photo provided by Flickr
How soon is TOO soon for a widow to fall in love? Just …
Me and my wife have been married for 3.5 years. I love her more than anything in world. We both come from broken and dysfunctional families, which is why i thought it would be nice to start a family of our own. We met at work and hit it off fast and we were in love. She had a daughter who 3 at the time. She had her own place. Sex everyday, watching movies, going out, etc. She is definitely my dreamgirl. She was 22 and i was going to turn 25 5 months after her B day. Thats when she got preggo with our first son. Omg, the morning sickness was so terrible she had to stop going to work and i had to quit my job bcuz everybody was in our business. I got a new job somewhere else. I didnt grow up with a proper family so i didnt know how to deal with a bad pregnancy and i felt like we made a mistake. One day i came home from work with a terrible headache that i dared not to complain about bcuz of what she was going thru being home alone all day with no support. She threw up in shower and i didnt have the strenght to get up and properly help her out. FF to the next day i came home from work and she was gone. FF some more she ended moving in with her jealous ex. It killed my confidence for a while being that the dude had a car. So i was lost and felt like i took a loss. I beat my self up for months. She even abandoned her apartment just bcuz i was still there. I ended up moving out bcuz i refused to keep paying that rent and found a rooming house. We stopped talking for a while after i found she lied to me about moving in with her aunt when the whole time she was with him. I was depressed. I ended up still going to work, but i started truck driving school and got my CDL A. I was determined to be a better father than mine ever was. Me and her started talking again but just about the baby. I was ready to be a single dad even though i felt like a fool. After my son was born i went to go see him everyday either before or after work. Her BFstarted getting mad at that so she started coming to my place i lived close by, thank god. We ended up back together living in that room. He kicked her out bcuz she told him she was leaving him soon. That means she must have been having sex with him while she was preggo with my son. I forgave her for the sake of my son at first. Then i forgave her for me and i didnt bring it back up ever, i was just glad i had a chance to be with my dreamgirl and our son. FF we moved into a nice apartment but we couldnt afford to maintain stability. Then i found out my license got suspended and i had to wait to get a CDL job. I wasnt gonna pursue truck driving bcuz i found out they never get to go home. So, after getting eviction notices, and getting food stamps, moving a few times,…things got better i ended up with a school bus job and making decent money. Then ended up with a paratransit driving job and now im making the most money i ever have before. Got a nice car, biggest apartment we ever had and we are surviving out here with little help. We got married and We even had another baby boy and the pregnancy was perfect. So now i have 2 sons and this is my family of 5. FF to now, we both work full time and barely have a babysitter but thank god we have one bcuz without her we’d be screwed. We were so happy until now. Idk whats going on with her now, it could be that she works 22 miles away and commutes train and bus everyday while i drive 3.5 miles to get to work. She works at a hotel and occasionally she’ll spend the night at work. She claims to hate doing that so i would drive to go pick her up from the train station or drive the 22 miles to get her from work. but as months go on shes staying away more and more. I thought her doing that would make her miss me more bcuz i cant sleep shes not home. We barely have time for us between work, keep this apartment clean, etc. I feel like she doesn’t want this life anymore. Recently, she stopped calling me while at work, texting me, having sex with me, it just seems like she doesnt care about me anymore. Weve been together for 7 years now and i feel like shes going thru something deeply personal. To make matters worse, she went thru my phone and saw some stupid texts and FB messages and comments of stupid little flirts to other females. I feel like she was just looking for something to use as an excuse to have a reason for her recent actions. I think shes having an affair, or preparing to, i know how she is. Look at what happened before. Shes the type to just do extreme selfish things on impulse. She has a very bad temper and a bad mouth and attitude but i still love her. I asked her the other day if she is still in love with me. Her response was…idk. she wont talk to me about how she feels. All she says is to leave her alone and help take care of these kids. She took a vacation from work for 2 weeks. So i took a week off so that we can attempt to spend some time together. She ignored me the whole week. The only time we went anywhere was to the grocery store and to run errands. Talk about some quiet rides. She doesnt touch me. She’ll still cook for me though. But as far as a convo….nothing. hurts a lot. Im tryna give her space and let her come to me when shes ready. I wanna know what i did so wrong to make her behave this way. Mind you, she was acting like this weeks before she went thru my phone. I sincerely expressed that my actions were results of loneliness and lack of attention. Its been a while since we been intimate or even exchanged a hug or a kiss, im a human man with real feelings u know. I have never cheated and she knows this. At this point, im just depressed and losing weight, smoking black and milds, even smoked some weed a few times. Drinking more and not eating much, nothings funny to me anymore. I just want my happiness back. Our happiness back what do i do. Ive tried praying, talking to my sister about it. Im really stressing hard over this. I want to stay married and be a family no matter what it takes.
Photo provided by Flickr
Jumping Off the Slippery Slope - TV Tropes
He said he would tell me that the next date I had if I ever tried to get him hurt again, or interfere with him one more time I would have a date with the undertaker/ My leg was broken as the Sirens arrived. There were to many witness’s that said they jumped my husband so the police could do nothing. Him and his friends took the job. and his father told me that was the last time he would be permitted to have or do as he pleased. The next seven years were Stolen passports to keep him from a vacation. Use of armed intimidation to force him to work holidays and other times he wanted off. Then two more incedents of violence in 2008 since the reports went ignored by the sheriffs department. One thanksgiving as always my husband turned the canvas down. His father and three others were pushing him through the gate at shotgun point, when my husband yanked one out of a friends hands. He crushed the mans face in and drew down on the other three including his father. It took a half hour and the destruction of 6000 in his fathers and friends firearms with a machinist hammer. To get my husband to go ahead and work that day. The following Monday the man that was supposed to work was given 30 days Disiplineary leave for not showing for the shifts. On Christmas Eve morning the same thing happened this time with two men forced out of his fathers car going 45 MPH Another going from the front seat onto his fathers hood and hiss father was left knocked out in the car. The sheriff that night told us that was the last day he could keep things out of public notice with my husband The next time we would all be in jail. That Christmas a coworker needed the time off for his three children over the holidays they were being sent to him by their mothers from two prior marriages.
Photo provided by Flickr
I want to share my story, same arranged marriage, all my certificates, degrees, job letter were checked and cross-checked. We were married, things went great till 7 months, I always suspected her but I never bothered to look in it. She and her friends in our city had made a pact to meet every 6 months. I went with her, there I saw a guy who looked at her in a sad way, just something tinkered in my mind. One day as I was casually surfing in fb I found the guy, I snooped a lot and I found a big stack of her pics with him. I snooped around more hired some detectives and found out she has had sex before him, as there was a condom bill in her ex’s name when she lived with him and some more things. I countered her and same crying stuff happened. I thought rationally and I tried to let-go, not just in a moment everything vanished but I tried not to dwell on her ex. But the he stared chatting with her even though she replied to the point and very less still he was persistent as ever, he sent me friend request etc. I was livid, she couldn’t refuse him either as they had decided to be “friends”. I gave up, I knew he was wired in her now, mentally and physically. She tried a lot but things collapsed, and at the time of another meet 6 months later she refused but her friends turned up at our home and asked me, I let her go. Her ex was there too. After she was gone I ran all my videos of her having sex with him in my mind, one thing led to another now I have retired from working our marriage like guys above. I ignore her but she is very irritating which adds to my woes.
As for kids you can try IVF it is expensive but safe and useful. Now she suspects me, I talk to my friend she thinks I am cheating on her, she even suspects my co-workers. I hate her.
Letting go sounds too good and easy but in reality it is difficult, as said above a fight some frustration is all that is needed to bring you crashing back. And I admit I don’t have the strength to crash every 2 weeks and get back on track. Things gradually got worse as time passed by. Time may be healer but in our case it is a destructor.
So invariably the way automatically leads to the last thing it is a mental torture for me but I cannot say for her as she still goes to their periodic meetings with her friends. I meet my friends too but they are a decent educated lot and I take her with me. But her friends are a bunch of cheap losers who have nothing to do except count for their next meeting and come jumping to our house.
Photo provided by Flickr