First time being ate out/fingered? | Yahoo Answers
So I feel the same way as a lot of you. My girlfriend had sex with two guys before me. One was a relationship, which doesn’t aggravate me at all, because they cared for each other. But she lost her virginity to a random british guy who was at a party she went to. She has told me everything she did with these guys and I hate it. Honesty is good, but there are details I do not want to know, she has done everything before, so I am just old news. I like her, but I wish I chose someone who had higher standards and didn’t have sex with the first guy to ever give her any attention. I am her third partner in less than a year of her losing it, and I just think of her as easy and willing to sleep with anyone because she is insecure about herself. We dated for four months before having sex, so I got to know her first. However, I just am mad that she doesn’t seem to care at all about virginity and took that from me. I wish I lost mine to another virgin and I regret it. We have a good relationship, but I think the only way I will get over this is if I move on to a new relationship so my virginity doesn’t create inequality. But I cant do this unless I break up with her first. Oh well, most of the time I dont even worry about this, its just when I haven’t seen her in a week or when I am already a bit pissed about something else.
- does being fingered for the first time hurt
I met my wife while at college. I was the virgin nerd and she the busy pretty one. We are now married for 20 years and have been together for 25. She gave me 2 lovely now nearly adult children. She is the love of my life. From the start we shared all the secrets. In a small community it is important. You do not want to be at the town social and listen to other men discussing the blond in the tight jeans and what they did to her. She is my wife. So she was busy and I was not. We did not wait until marriage.
Looking back, I would like to give some advice to especially the younger not yet married couples out there.
Change the 5 points in the post to a complete inverse. e.g. You with experience, do not hold it against your new inexperienced partner that the first couple of times are an absolute mess and rarely last more than a few minutes. They can not yet swing from the ceiling fan and do weekends of crazy acrobatics. Please teach them if they are not connecting the dots in the right fashion.
Stay appreciative to the fact that they do not have a sexual past as they can not do anything about it know. Unless you are willing to let them go, get experience and then return to you.
Lastly. You are taking this persons V card. Weather you are male or female. You might have had 10 partners before and have deflowered half of them. But remember this is his or hers first time and it needs to be memorable for that person. You have an huge task in this regard.
I know it has been awhile since this post but I am hoping someone will give me some insight.
Here is my story…
Unfortunately, I was not a waiter. I wish now that I was. I am now in my early forties. Despite not having been a waiter, I was never promiscuous. I have had 4 partners in my life. My first boyfriend and I were together for 4 years before we had sex. I thought he was going to be my husband and were engaged when we had sex. Unfortunately, he died and I was devastated. A few years later, I meet another man who again, I dated for many years before we had sex. We were engaged and I thought thag God had given me another wonderful man. Slowly this man began abusing me verbally and untimately physically. The sex was non existant during those times and my self exteeem was next to none. I mustered the courgare to leave him and worked on myself and finished my degree. I was alone during that time…no sex and no casual encounters. Never did I have any casual flings of any kind. In my thirties, I meet another man and was moreso careful. We dated for many years and got engaged. Again, I thought I was blessed. During this relatonship, there was no sex and I made it very clear that I did not want to have sex before marriage. I did not want to do the same mistake again. During this relationship, I came to find out that he cheated on me not once but twice. He turned the table around and blamed me for him having to seek sex elsewhere. He called me a hypocrite because I was not a virgin and yet tried to behave like one. I ended the relationship then and there. Once again, I was alone for about 3 years and not having any casual sex. About 7 years ago I met my current fiance. When we met, quite coincidentally as I was not looking for anyone, he seemed like the perfect man. Right from the start, I told him about my past and my values. He was no fresh daisy but I never thought he did had played out his sex life withiut morals or consequences. I informed him from the beginning that honesty and communication was crucial for me and that I did not wish to be involved with a man who had a casual view of sex. I was fully cspable of being with a man who was jot a waiter but one who had been in only serious relationships. Asking for otherwise, would make me a hypocrite.
He assured me that that he was a man of values and morals. Things were wonderful for the first 5 years and this man is by far the best friend I thought I ever had. I was wrong….very wrong. Turns out he lied to me about so much. In fact, most of his sexual encounters were very casual…fuck buddies and one night stands….more than 20 of them. When I found out, my world shattered. I felt as though I was punched in the stomach. He says he lied because he saw that I was a good girl with values and that he did not want to lose me. He said that he always dreamed of finding a girl like me but after having been treated lkke dirt by his first and second girlfriend, tnag he thought that love did not exist. He had a low self esteem and this was the only type of ‘relationship’ the women he met were willing to give him. I don’t believe this for a second. I think he was horny and got off on having no strings attached sex.
He betrayed me…he lied to me…he conned me in orderto get into my life. Now all these years later…years that I invested into this man, I feel like I had no choice…he ne er gave me the choice nor the benefit of the doubt.
On the other hand, he never asks for sex and respects me on that level. He has waited and is willing to wait. I am stuck now dealing with the betrayal (lies) that he told me for years, but also with this knowledge of him having sex with these random moraless womem. The images are taunting and it makes me nauseated. I don’t know what to do. I am trying to do the right thing by forgiving him amd moving along but it is really hard.
I need someone on the outside to give me some advice. Thank you and God bless.